Anyone who has been in a relationship knows that it takes effort to keep the spark going. If you value your partner and want to make sure you have lasting mutual love and respect, take a minute to read over my top 3 tips for a healthy relationship!
1. Don’t Publicly Bicker
Most people are guilty of bickering with their partner. It’s an unpleasant exchange that creeps up here and there and for some couples more than others. I know I am guilty of this behavior in the past and as much as I hated hearing other people bickering, I still found myself doing it.
It is especially common for couples who feel comfortable around certain friend or family groups to partake in this behavior. Sometimes couples bicker publicly to get a weigh in from those close to them and this can be done consciously or subconsciously and other times couples just don’t care who is around, they can’t collect themselves to take a moment, breath and let something small go for the sake of the group.
In friends and family group settings you may feel like it’s fine to conduct yourself this way especially if your close to the people you are in the group setting with. However, this gives off a negative energy and increases overall tension in a room. Those you are close to will play it off like it’s all fine and try to de-escalate the energy, but secretly they will feel uncomfortable. Consciously or subconsciously they will want to distance themselves from spending time with you and your partner. Energy is contagious and if you give off a negative bickering energy people will not want that brought into their lives. Being respectful in public is very important.
If you are in relationship where you can’t seem to contain your annoyance with your partner for a few hours over a dinner party then you may want to look into personal coaching, or relationship coaching for you and your partner.
2. Surprise your partner with affection!
Most people are guilty of bickering with their partner. It’s an unpleasant exchange that creeps up here and there and for some couples more than others. I know I am guilty of this behavior in the past and as much as I hated hearing other people bickering, I still found myself doing it.
Have you ever walked by a store or been perusing online and seen an item you know your partner would love? Did you buy it for them or did you simply acknowledge they would love it in your mind but move on with what you were doing? Next time buy it! Think what a positive impact it would make if you stopped and bought that item for your partner, brought it home and surprised them. The endorphin blast they would get as well as the moment of mutually shared joy would be such a positive injection of goodness into your world.
It doesn’t have to be only gifts either, you can surprise your partner with affection like extra kisses, a foot rub while Netflix binging, cooking a special dinner you know they love or doing an activity with them that maybe you don’t normally do that you know they would really appreciate. The simple gestures can go a long way!
I believe that even if you are in a comfortable and established relationship, that is no excuse to let things go. The early days of romance and courting will pass with time and you will hit a new level of comfort with your partner. If you want to continue to have a successful relationship you can’t let comfort turn into complacency. You have to always be earning love from your partner. Humans have needs, we are complex. We want to feel valued and in return not take for granted the person we choose to partner with.
3. Be a good communicator
Oftentimes people get into a mood. The mood can come from out of the left field, maybe you got an annoying phone call from a boss and it sent you into a dither, perhaps you had some old memories arise and its bogging down your mind. Maybe you simply didn’t get the best night of sleep so you a little touchier than normal. Reflect and think about has there been a time you have been wondering if your partner is in a mood funk and they are not responsive they are quiet and silent and inward and it leaves you wondering what is up?
Maybe it makes you feel concerned as if you did something to upset them but they are leaving you in the dark while brooding around the house. this kind of energy is a real zap for relationships. By effectively and openly communicating with your partner if you are in one of these moods then you don’t take out whatever your issue is on the one who is closest to you. You don’t want to punish your partner for a feeling your having that is unrelated to them. This isn’t a respectful or mature way to conduct yourself. You make yourself unpleasant to be around and this is not a sustainable way to operate.
